Social Style | Krys Freeman (@blaktivist) Talks #Image with Kholioli.com (Part 1)

Despite my overuse of the word “bestie” and constant developments of new “bffs,”

I’ve never actually believed in the idea of a best friend. 

I believe in soulmates, of course (who doesn’t).

I believe in my longest, most intensely sibling-like friendship (that will never end) with my appropriately termed “seeeeeeestor” (hey, no one’s here to judge) of several years.

I believe in the cultivation of multiple uniquely rich and individual relationships built upon curiosity, common interests, shared experience.

I believe every friendship that starts with genuine connection and develops into a psychically and emotionally healthy, sustainable relationship is to be valued.

At any point in time, each of these friendships could and should be considered “best” friendships.

Still, I can be honest.

I also believe in “cosmically sound coincidences of consciousness,” magical gifts of the universe, dropped into our lives for us to nurture wholeheartedly, and appreciate as we do each breath.  There are some connections, because of their ability to encourage, to endure, to intensely annoy then appease you, that will, every single day of your life, be the best.

With that said, meet Krys Freeman, better known as your local (but more like national) bLaKtivist, otherwise known as one of my dearest friends.

KRYS’ RUNDOWN

• Background: Creole, British, African-American, Liberian + Raised on the east coast, currently residing in the Bay
• Education: Phillips Academy in Andover, Occidental College (critical theory & social justice)
• Work: Web Project Manager, Green Biz Group; Founder/Creator/Community Manager, The Definition, Board President/Chief Strategist, BUTCH Voices
• Goals and Dreams: Do HUGE things. Change everything we thought we knew about web 2.0, urban planning, and sustainability.  Eliminate the woes of the world. Stay fashion fabulous while doing it.

When Krys and I met in 2008, and I remember it vividly, the heavens opened (quote me on this), sun shone brightly (in New Jersey in the middle of January, I might add), social media maven angels sang, and the entreprenurial-spirited ancestors rained down gratitude.

It would be months before we ever actually connected in person, but for the first time, I felt like the universe had delivered unto me someone that got me- without all the explanation.

KHOLI’S RUNDOWN

• Background: Coree Indian, African-American, Liberian + Raised in the South, currently residing in Philly-   the only place Jazzy Jeff meets a million Martha Stewarts before catching the first train
• Education: Forsyth Country Day School, Hampton University (English), Rutgers University (pursuing a PhD; media + moments of cultural revolution)
• Work: TA, Rutgers University Writing Program; Founder/Owner, A-List Entertainment & Events; Founder/CEO, The Ardor Brand
• Goals and Dreams: Do HUGE things. Change everything we thought we knew about beauty, personal style, and personal lifestyle marketing.  Eliminate the woes of the world. Stay social media savvy while doing it.

Understand the initial intrigue?  It gets better.

OPPOSITES ATTRACT

Krys and I are actually about as different in our ways of being as we are in our ways of dressing. But soon, for me at least, our friendship became much less about discussing our various dichotomies or points of separation (trust me, in addition to our complete opposite coast locations, there are a number of other “opposites” among us).  Now, as I write this, I’m much more concerned with the ways I’ve been able to watch us change- in some ways, without even knowing it, and most definitely without consultation, learning each other’s best attributes; gleaning from and guilding one another as we grow.

Always attracted to strong silhouettes, clean lines, and masculine translations of everyday attire, Krys has spoken openly about how she first gained her own fashion fixations.

“[I]studied the way [men] rocked tilted fitted caps … eyeing my father most intently. He was so precise about matching his kicks with neatly creased jeans and “throwback” jerseys. By fifteen I’d nearly stolen his style and his swagger.”

Krys’ now self-coined “metro-flexible” sense of style has had its fluctuations over the years.

But who’s style hasn’t?  Like any woman, learning and experiencing, actively participating in the world around her, Krys has had all types of changes. She’s had more hair and had less hair. She’s been in love and been out of love.  She’s had more weight and had less weight.  She’s gotten taller.  She’s been into certain trends.  She’s been over them.  But no matter what, I can say she’s remained true to Krys.

(Krys on personal style/image)

“My style’s grown up a bit over the years.  I can’t go into the office wearing sweats or basketball fits from my high school and Occidental years and be taken seriously.   I’ve got no business looking like I did when I was 15 or 20 … I’m not in the same space.”

(Krys on dressing for clients)

“I still believe that the biggest mark we leave on folks is not the first, but the 2nd impression.  The first is important, but people (if they’re anything like me) are naturally questioning.  They want the guarantee.  I think it’s important to think: sustainable.  I’d say, pick classic fits that represent you … but work everyday.”

Forget the shoes, Krys’ sense of self is her one accessory I most envy.  She’s consistent.

You can count on her. I’ve always needed that.

CONSISTENTLY INCONSISTENT

Me, on the other hand, well … let’s just say … my loyalty is about the only consistent bone in my body.

Like Krys, I’ve had long hair.  I’ve had short hair.  Right now, I’m close enough to no hair.  Unlike Krys, I haven’t gotten any taller.  But like many of us, I’ve gained weight, lost weight, gained curves I never had before. I’ve been in and out of love, and like, and an intense collection of other emotions.  I’ve grown up.  With all of the previous, my style has done some developing as well.  I’ve been into color.  I’ve hated color. As inconsistent as my style’s been, there are a few things I’ve remembered along the way.

– EVERY TREND ISN’T FOR EVERY BODY.

– IF YOU PUT IT ON, AND IT DOESN’T IMMEDIATELY MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS, TAKE IT OFF.  TRY AGAIN.

Now, is when I can admit I’ve wanted to steal more than a few items from Krys’ wardrobe.

Slim-fitting shirts and cardigans, belts, vests, plaid and flannel button-downs, sneakers, hats, you name it!  But, let’s be clear, we are far from being the same size and shape.  We’re equally as far from having the same sense of style.

Still, that’s no reason for me to skip out on perfectly wonderful trend translations. Similar to the ways we’ve made our mark in social media- I’m sure Krys would agree- I’ve developed a bit of a knack for taking her ideas and making them my own. I bet she won’t sue me.

Stay tuned, or reading, or whatever it is bloggers say to mean “this story will be continued and I’ll talk about how I’ve incorporated Krys’ style into my own wardrobe AND show you how you can too!”

you stay cool.  i’ll stay kholi. <3

Tags: accessories, apparel, kholi, krys freeman, personal image, social style, style